He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
