We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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