and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
