Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
