Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
