i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
