so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
