We won't sleep together?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
