3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
