i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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