Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
