you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
