They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
