bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
