i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
