Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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