do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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