Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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