What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
