no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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