Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
