i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
