I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
