I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
