6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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