dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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