Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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