Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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