My room smells like vodka and shame
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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