I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
