Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
