The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
