I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
