Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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