my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
