The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
