Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
