I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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