So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
