You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
