i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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