Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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