I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
