I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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