Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
