A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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