ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
