Christians are straight up FREAKS
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
