Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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