then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
